Can my sperm get a Tinder account?

At-home male fertility test kits; who needs, wants them, and why

Social media, and media in general, would have us believe that men run from the idea of intentionally having babies. It’s always female partners badgering or tricking men into impregnation. These men then trudging unhappily down the path of fatherhood.


The reality is that plenty of men happily anticipate and look forward to creating a family (not just the trying to conceive part). Whether they can or not is another factor.

Birds and the Bees

Unlike women, it’s not as easy for a willing man to have a child. They just don’t have the equipment. Don’t worry; this won’t devolve into a 4th-grade sex talk. Arguably, women have more choice in whether to have their own children (although, given the current atmosphere, that’s becoming arguable as well).

Turkey Basting, not just for Thanksgiving

At its most basic, women need a willing partner for a few brief moments (or the metaphorical and sometimes convenient turkey baster method). Men require a more active and willing participant for an extended amount of time. On top of that, they need motivated sperm on the move.

Men Can Have Fertility Issues too, they just don't want to talk sperm count out loud

One aspect of the situation the media may have gotten correctly is men’s dislike for discussing their health and the vulnerability and emasculating feelings of potential infertility. Culturally, a lot of pressure is placed on a man’s virility. There is often an unspoken (sometimes loudly proclaimed) pride in a man’s ability to produce (help women produce) a gaggle of children (that’s what a group of kids is called, right?). So for a man to have issues in this area, it can be a very daunting and shameful issue to explore.

Um…well…you see, I can’t…

This is where at-home male fertility test kits come in. There is no need for a trip to the doctor. No nervous waiting in an enclosed space with strangers (covid is still around, you know). 


No awkward stammering to a nurse who has to then share the coded messages of infertility fears to the doctor. Or having to relay everything you’ve already said to that doctor once they finally enter the room. Ugh, trips to the doctor just aren’t fun anymore, are they?

No kink-shaming here

The majority of these tests require a sperm sample. It is up to you how that sample is collected. (But wouldn’t you rather be in the comfort and privacy of your home? Well, maybe some of you wouldn’t.) 


These tests can measure aspects such as sperm count, mobility, volume, concentration (how long they can sit and work a word search), and something called DNA fragmentation.

Procreation on the rocks

With these tests, you are given the option of freezing sperm for one year, five years, or forever, depending on the company, the test, and your intentions. 


Do you want to save your sperm because you haven’t found the right partner? Or maybe you worry you’ll be that octogenarian who longs for a child of their own. (Not too many of those around.) Of course, there are plenty of reasons in between these.

Any takers?

Whether you’re with someone excited to start a family ASAP, or still searching for that willing participant, monitoring and understanding your sperm health is an integral part of the journey. 


Check out this article, “Best At Home Fertility Test Kits for Males”, to learn more about your options for testing. Best at Home Fertility Test kits for males 

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